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Money isn’t just about dollars and cents — it’s tied to our emotions, upbringing, and deep-seated beliefs. For many Black women, the relationship with money is complex, influenced by generational experiences that were often not discussed openly in our households.

Understanding Your Money Trauma

Money trauma manifests as deep-rooted fears that we’ll never have enough, leading to stress or behaviors like hoarding money that ultimately block financial growth. These traumas become learned behaviors that shape our beliefs, actions, and overall attitude toward finances.

“Our money trauma becomes learned behaviors and it manifests into what our beliefs are around money, what our behaviors are around money, and our overall attitude towards money,” explains financial mindset coach Ashanti.

Growing up in environments where money conversations were limited to warnings like “don’t mess up your credit” or watching parents silently juggle finances creates patterns we unconsciously inherit. For many of us, this translated to viewing money as scarce or something to constantly struggle with, even when we intellectually understand there’s abundance in the world.

How Past Experiences Shape Current Finances

Consider how your upbringing influences your current financial decisions:

• Limited beliefs about deserving wealth: When unexpected financial windfalls appear, do you find yourself hesitating to claim them or second-guessing if they’re real?
• Operating from scarcity: Do you make decisions based on fear of losing money rather than strategic planning?
• Emotional decision-making: Are your financial choices driven by immediate emotions rather than long-term goals?

One powerful example comes from a woman who, during the pandemic, turned a $1,500 investment into $40,000 through cryptocurrency — only to lose most of it by not selling at the right time. The hesitation wasn’t about strategy but emerged from a complex mix of disbelief, scarcity mindset, and greed.

“I remember seeing it shrink and just thinking ‘Oh my gosh, I need to pull out.’ But that fear kicked in like, ‘Well, if I pull it out now, then it’s gonna be lower.’ Once I saw that $40K, I’m thinking it could get there again. So now I’m waiting. By that time, it’s over.”

Creating Your Financial Path Forward

Step 1: Assess Your Money Mindset

Start by examining your core beliefs about money. Ask yourself:

• Do I feel like money is hard to come by?
• Do I believe rich people are greedy or selfish?
• Do I feel guilty spending money on myself?
• Do I think I’m “just not good with money”?
• Am I afraid having money would change who I am?

Step 2: Develop a Practical Financial Plan

Once you’ve identified your mindset blocks, create a concrete plan:

1. List all expenses by priority — Be ruthlessly honest about necessities versus wants. Track everything from major bills to daily coffee purchases.
2. Measure expenses against income — Identify where adjustments need to be made.
3. Automate your finances — Remove emotional decision-making by setting up automatic transfers for savings and bill payments.
4. Create separate accounts for different purposes — Bills, discretionary spending, and savings should have dedicated homes.

“You need to list your expenses in priority of absolute necessity,” Ashanti advises. “Usually there are things that people put on the list as expenses that really aren’t a priority.”

Step 3: Be Consistent and Find Accountability

Consistency is where many people stumble. The solution?

• Have a physical or digital plan you can reference regularly
• Set specific goals with timelines
• Consider joining accountability groups for support
• Track progress and celebrate small wins

“This journey when you are trying to rewire your mind and really take ownership of your financial stability, you gotta be accountable. It’s a humbling experience,” notes Ashanti.

When You’re Living Paycheck to Paycheck

If your necessary expenses exceed your income, you have three primary options:

1. Generate additional income — Look at skills you already have that could create side income. Can you braid hair? Are you a good cook? What talents can be monetized?
2. Downsize strategically — This might mean trading in an expensive car, moving to a smaller home, or temporarily living with family.
3. Address existing debt — Contact creditors about hardship programs that might freeze interest in exchange for closing accounts.

“If you’re in a position where your necessities cost more than the money you’re making, that means you’ve already made a decision that puts you in a hole. You are in critical mode,” Ashanti explains.

Three Power Plays for Financial Freedom

1. Examine your money mindset — Understand what you truly believe about money and how those beliefs might be limiting you.
2. Create a detailed financial plan — Know exactly where your money is going, automate what you can, and make sure your plan is easily accessible.
3. Find community support — Even if you feel you don’t need accountability, connecting with others on similar journeys provides motivation and perspective.

Remember that building wealth is a marathon, not a sprint. Each step toward healthier money habits brings you closer to not just financial freedom, but peace of mind that transcends your bank account balance.

As you work through your money journey, remember this truth: Either you’re going to work your money, or your money’s going to work you over. The choice — and the power — is yours.

About Ashanti Young

Ashanti is a financial coach, entrepreneur, and the founder of prosperous life loading, a platform dedicated to helping people shift their money mindset, build better financial habits, and take control of their wealth journey.

With a background in storytelling and a passion for financial empowerment, Ashanti makes the conversation around money relatable and actionable. Through coaching, digital resources, products and engaging content, they help individuals break free from scarcity thinking and create a clear path to financial freedom.

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