Setting Healthy Boundaries to Protect Your Peace and Purpose
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Show’s Talking Points
Listen To The Episode To Learn…
Hello Black Girl! Today, let’s talk to you about something that often gets misunderstood: boundaries.
As you know, roses have thorns for a reason. They’re soft, beautiful, and fragrant, but if mishandled, they’ll prick you. Why? Because they were created with built-in protection. Sis, you can keep your pretty and protect your peace. Don’t let anyone pick you without permission.
Boundaries Are Protection Not Barriers
When God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, He didn’t just give them paradise. He gave them boundaries—not to restrict them, but to protect what was precious.
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” – Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)
That word guard is active and it takes intention and strength. Even Jesus set boundaries with His time, energy, and relationships. Sometimes He withdrew from the crowd. Other times, He said “no” because He was clear on His assignment. Boundaries helped Him stay focused on purpose.
In the Garden of Eden those boundaries weren’t about limitation, but preserving purpose.
Nehemiah and the Power of a Holy “No”
When Nehemiah was rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, distractions came from every direction. People tried to pull him away from his mission. But he stayed grounded and said:
“I am doing a great work and I cannot come down.” – Nehemiah 6:3
That’s your new response, Black Girl: “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down.”
I call these the “holy no’s.” Saying no to good things so you can say yes to God’s best. Every yes costs something. Every commitment takes time and energy from somewhere else. Just like rose thorns, your boundaries are there to protect what’s sacred.
Don’t Cast Your Pearls Before Swine
“Do not cast your pearls before swine.” – Matthew 7:6
Your time, energy, and gifts are pearls. They’re valuable because you are valuable, made in God’s image. Boundaries honor what God is cultivating in you and protect the garden He’s planted in your spirit.
Boundaries Blooming: A Practical Guide
Let’s get real. Here’s how to start what I call Boundaries Blooming:
1. Identify What’s Draining You
Where is your energy constantly being depleted? What leaves you feeling empty? Those are signs your peace is under attack. Pay attention.
2. Own Your Needs
Speak up for yourself from a place of growth, not guilt. This is about honoring your divine assignment and making room for what matters most.
3. Use Your Voice
Say it with faith, not fear. Practice speaking truth with confidence: “Thanks for thinking of me, but that’s not my ministry.” And if they give you push-back? Just pause…and serve a holy side-eye.
A Prayer for Sacred Boundaries
“Heavenly Father, Thank You for creating us with value and purpose. Give us the wisdom to set healthy boundaries like Jesus did, the courage to maintain them with grace, and the discernment to protect what You’ve planted in us. Help us remember that boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re sacred spaces where You grow us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Final Encouragement
Next time, we’ll explore how your unique purpose complements, not competes with the other flowers in God’s garden.
Until then, guard your heart, protect your purpose, and keep blooming where you’re planted. And the next time someone asks you to do something that doesn’t serve you, just say, “That’s not my ministry.”
Love you! 💜
A Quick Word for the Woman Feeling Stuck
Alright, Black Girl, let’s pause real quick.
If you’ve been feeling unsure about your next move, stuck in a cycle of “almost” and “not yet,” or just know deep down that there’s more for you…You need my book:
Life Been Lifing: Don’t Be Distracted From Your Purpose
It’s a powerful (and easy!) read with mindset-shifting lessons and exercises to help you uncover your God-given purpose and walk in it boldly. Grab your copy at lifebeendlifing.com. Let this book be your guide to breakthrough.
About Bailey Orenia
With 20+ years as an entrepreneur and communications maverick, Bailey has empowered thousands through her unique blend of wisdom and relatability.
As an former XM Radio Host and BET.com pioneer, Bailey’s insights have been featured in The Washington Post, NBC, VISTAS Magazine, and more.
As author of “Life Been Lifing: Don’t Be Distracted from Your Purpose,” Bailey doesn’t just talk about purpose, she guides you through life’s chaos to find yours. Her no-nonsense approach cuts through the noise, offering clarity when you need it most.
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